Green Jello Hotdish

You’re not Chicago, not L.A.  You’re not London, New York or Paris.  You’re not even Minneapolis, Boston or Seattle.

On a hot, sticky summer’s day, the air is a mix of sewage and dead, rotting fish.  The winter brings with it snow that would bury entire civilizations under its mass.

Parking’s rotten, mass transit is non-existent, and the schools are falling apart.  There’s no weather your denizens can drive well in, and let’s face it: liquor and sausage can’t be considered high class no matter how much you dress it up.

But that’s not the end of the story.

You’ve got great festivals, and neighborhood pride to spare.  Rush hour’s a breeze compared to those other places, and nothing beats Bradford Beach in July.

People who haven’t visited your county parks — the true gems of your beauty — are missing out on the good life, and putting wings on your art museum was sheer genius.

Your people are friendly.  Your streets are (mostly) walkable.  And there is more culinary variety than beer, polka and bratwurst.

I’ll miss you, Milwaukee.  We part ways too soon; I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you better.

The Olympics in Beijing start in a couple of days.  Athletes from around the world will gather to compete, to demonstrate the individual physical heights we can accomplish as humanity.  I’m not a hugely athletic person — and the summer Olympics have absolutely no sports that I care to follow — but I’ll still catch the opening and closing ceremonies, and since there is a fellow Anoka High grad competing, I’ll follow the wrestling events this year.

But it sounds like no one in the Western world is going to — or supposed to — enjoy the events this time around.  From cries of cultural imperialism on behalf of the West thrust on the East, to being upset that the International Olympic Committee awarded the games to a communist government with a spotty-at-best human rights record, the general undertone of this year’s games is that of suspicion, of injustice.

At best, this level of indignation is bull.  And it only goes downhill from there.

I’m sorry, but I’m not going to feel guilty about cheering for the U.S. team.  I’m not going to feel as if I am somehow communicating that the U.S. is culturally superior to the rest of the world.  I’m not.  I’m simply cheering on my team, my nation, my fellow Americans.

I’m not going to boycott the opening ceremonies because of China’s human rights record.  And what’s more, if you’re really that upset at their government, then you should avoid buying Chinese-made goods, avoid benefiting from the burgeoning Chinese economy.  That means everything, from the product you use in your hair to the ballpoint pens on your desk.  Do you receive promotional materials or “freebies” from places?  Better check where those were made.  Do you enjoy authentic Chinese food?  Double-check the importation information.  What about the parts in your car?  In your computer?

I’m not going to protest the summer games because of China’s pollution problem.  We, as Americans, simply modeled this behavior and continue to do so as we now come to the stark realization that we ripped up our rail infrastructure, we destroyed our fresh water supplies, we continue to fear nuclear and renewable energy sources.  The people in Beijing live in dense structures, perform many of their daily routines on foot, and many do not even have access to a passenger automobile.  In comparison, here we work for the “American dream” of an acre or two of land, 2.5 vehicles per household, far away from centers of commerce and trade.

I’m not going to be suspicious of the media reporting from a country which censors its information.  How is overt censorship any worse than a government that purposely lies to its people and the wider world?  A population so disengaged and lazy to check facts for itself and taking E! television as high-class reporting?

I might give some credit if this indignation weren’t complete bull.  So go off, protest the games.  Stand on street corners and decry the awful affects of globalization and the industrial complex.  Do your “grassroots” blogging and reporting.  Just don’t you dare let me catch you doing it as you sip from a cup, wearing shoes, underwear and clothing, holding signs marked with ink, all made in China.

Today is America’s 232nd birthday celebration.  She’s growing up so fast, isn’t she?

While we’d show our age differently at 232, in terms of countries and nations, that’s mere adolescence.  Take, for comparison, the earliest known rule of mainland China, dating between 2100-1600 BCE.  The Thirteen United States declared their independence from a nation that dates back to 410 CE.

Of course, we’re older than some others we hang out with: Canada just turned 141 years old a couple days before us; New Zealand is a little wet behind the ears at 101.

Its a fun, mid-summer’s day to take a break — do some relaxing on the beach, camp out in the woods, take out the boat and jetskis, do a bit of shopping, and otherwise relax from the stresses of everyday life for a day.  At the end, take in the celebratory fireworks and get hyped up about kicking British ass!

Yes, it is the one day when patriotic nationalism gets to take center stage, when we get to be proud of who we are and what we have and horde it above everyone else.

I’m proud to be an American.  Sure, I could wax poetic about freedom and liberty and all that.  Equally, I could use this as a platform to decry the government’s abuses of power and oppression of groups and peoples through the years.  But the positives and the negatives combine to contribute to that pride I hold.

You see, it is because of that combination that we are able, as a society, to challenge ourselves, to grow to even greater heights of human accomplishment and inginuity.  Its easy to focus on one’s shortcomings, but turning them around and into something positive: that’s the stuff history is made of.

As Americans, we must never settle for the status quo.  There are always opportunities ahead of us to ensure life, liberty and the persuit of happiness for our people and those who wish to join us.  There are always opportunities to right wrongs we have made — and nay, more opportunities to make more wrongs in our teenage years.  But today, we rest and celebrate our accomplishments.  We take a break to engage in all sorts of activities, ready tomorrow to go back to perfecting our union.  We take a break from divisions that separate us and join together as citizens of the UNITED States.

So happy birthday, America.  May God continue to bless you and your people with all creation.

Of course, I don’t think this song ever went out of style.  It just keeps summarizing the global society…

Sorry, YouTube won’t let me embed it here.

One of the features in January’s National Geographic is titled “The Emptied Prairie” and explores the increasing number of ghost towns in North Dakota. (If you don’t want to take time to read the story — which I encourage you to do — at least take a look at the stunning photography.)

I’ll admit it up front: I’ve always had a strange affinity toward North Dakota. When you grow up in Minnesota’s Northland, you know the enemies are Wisconsin and Iowa. South Dakota is a bit odd, conversations about South Dakotans would inevitably lead to accusations of inbreeding. North Dakota, though, gets a sort of free ticket, similar to Canada. Sure, they exist, but they don’t really bother a person, so let everyone get along just so long as no one says anything to another. (Plus I knew a lot of North Dakotans, growing up in the Lutheran Brethren church.) One of my favorite sweatshirts is my NDSU hoodie, and many friends have taken advantage of their comparatively outstanding higher education system.

North Dakota was a flatter, less populated Minnesota. And it is the eastern most “real” western state. I remember the first time I went to North Dakota and looked out at the vast expanse of land. There isn’t a need for things like trees there, just land. Trees end up getting in the way of the view. I was used to looking at lakes dropping off at the horizon, but when its just empty land I still think the horizon is further off than on water.

Those who know me well enough will know that this article prompted a new travel and exploration idea. And I encourage everyone to do the same. North Dakota doesn’t get much tourism. Let’s face it: its flat, windy and it snows a lot. There’s no way around it, and not much market for that combination. But I guarantee you if you have the opportunity to trek up there, you’ll feel more connected with our nation’s explorers of old. You’ll be captured by the excitement and mysticism of the American west. And I’m sure that in these towns, you’ll feel more connected to this piece of America than you ever could by reading a high school history book.