But gays will destroy the sanctity of marriage
This quote should start us off nicely:
“Animals are attracted to certain animals,” Scott said. “When looking to mate two animals, it is important that their energy is compatible. This isn’t an arranged marriage, we can’t force them together.”
Now you might think a story with the headline, “More dogs are saying ‘Fi-Do’ to pet weddings” might come from The Onion, or at least be satirical in nature. Nope. The mainstream, conservative-leaning Chicago Tribune is reporting today about a growing trend of doggy nuptials for parents who simply can’t allow illegitimate pups born to unwed mothers around their house.
God help us all.
With the price of gas hovering around $4/gallon, the cost of food skyrocketing, and the growing divide between the have-it-alls, the have-somes and the have-nothings, certainly dog marriages are the first thing to make sure we’re providing these days.
And don’t even get me started on the gay marriage vs. “sanctity” of marriage argument within this context. Spot’s “wedding” is so far off the charts absurd it doesn’t even merit discussion.
But even beyond the rational arguments lie the utterly irrational. How can one walk around with “Doggie Wedding Consultant” on their business cards? Is there a requirement for the dogs to be paper trained before the ceremony? They say pre-nups aren’t necessary, but we all know pets have fickle minds, so can you at least point me in the way of adequate legal counsel?