How Long?

Ps. 13, Ps. 35, Hab. 1 + Vigil for GLBT Suicide + October 6, 2010
Carthage College

How long, God, shall we cry and you will not hear? How long, God, will the cries of your children be ignored by a people so full of hate and vengeance? How long, God, will you permit hate instead of love to have the last word?

How long, God, will you allow us to stand by silently in the moment, leaving unchallenged the words of hatred and the bullying which we all hear every day? How long, God, until we gather not in a time of sorrow but in celebration for the beauty of your creation, for the dignity of all your children, for the glory of your people?

How long, God, until we hear the names of your children Tyler, Justin, Billy, Asher, and Seth and we honor their memories by saying, “These young men were the last”?  Justin went to my high school, God. I know that place. I know the abuse he suffered, the ignorance he faced, the deafening silence he encountered if he went to ask for support. I thank you, God, that I made it out of there – but why not Justin?

Five children are too many, God, three are too many, one is too many. How long, God, must we shout out for justice and compassion and peace in our time? How long must we, your very creation who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and queer – your creation who you call good – be put on display as entertainment, as inferior, as broken, as worth less than your other creation, God? How long must we be held up as worthy of ridicule, worthy of actions meriting broadcast as side-show drama, worthy of people who spit out emotional, physical, and spiritual violence?

This is a big deal, God, do you not feel it? People are dying here! Five young men last month alone, God. Where is your grace? Where is your love? Where is your compassion? Where are you, God, do you not hear us?

Are you challenging us to act? Are you challenging us to respond to the cries of our own hearts? Are you challenging us to speak up against homophobia and anti-gay bullying in our own school, our own communities, our own families? My friend doesn’t mean it when he equates ‘gay’ with ‘stupid,’ but who else hears him that might not know that? I don’t want to act like a fag and get all uptight, but what example am I setting for someone else who might not have the confidence I have?

I joke about jumping off a bridge a lot, but is there someone I know who is hurting so much inside that all she needs is to hear my trivialization once more to act on her own impulse? We are a community here at Carthage, is there someone who simply needs a friend right now, someone who maybe is not as outgoing as I am, who is just waiting for me to come and say hello?

Thank you, God, that we are here, together, standing as one people in the wake of immense and unconscionable tragedy. Do not let us waste this moment. Do not let us go one more day without standing up against hate. Do not let us think that we have done our part by simply showing up at a vigil. Empower us to challenge violence in our everyday lives. Enable us to speak up when someone is silenced. Equip us to befriend those who are outcast. Encourage us to encourage others in the same.

Hold Tyler, Justin, Billy, Asher, Seth, and all your children in the arms of angels this day and always. Their lives in this place were too short – too full of hatred, violence, and silence, too void of peace, compassion, and love. May their memory live on as a call to action that no more of your children depart this place too soon or are forced to live lives that fail to reflect their dignity and your glory.

For all your children, we pray, O God, how long? Amen.